In my last self portrait I mentioned that I had a dream about a mouse (hence the Minnie Mouse headband). According to the dream dictionary this indicates feelings of inadequacy and minor irritations. I’m trying to move past that, but certain things just keep triggering it. I feel like there are some people out there who are watching and waiting for me to fail. It might just all be in my head, but I seriously believe that there are people who take pleasure in bringing others down. It irritates me because I don’t see what they have to gain by stepping on others. And the worst part is that they probably don’t even think that they’re doing anything wrong. It annoys me the way they talk, as if they’ve never done anything wrong in their lives. They sit back and criticize everyone around them, but they seriously need to just back off and maybe take a look at themselves for a change.
Anyway, I’m trying my best to hold on and rise above these issues. Someone I respect a lot told me that I should learn to filter out certain things out and stop letting what people think of me affect me. And that I shouldn’t be scared to make mistakes, because that’s how people grow. There will always be someone who will try to suck all the happiness out from your life (call them real-life dementors if you want), and they may enjoy seeing you stumble and fall, but you’ve just got to show them that you’ve got the strength to get back up and fight on.
This image popped into my mind last week, but unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to shoot and edit it until yesterday. I was hoping to upload it in time for the Lunar New Year, since it marks the start of the year of the horse, but I didn’t finish it in time. I guess the important thing is I managed to execute the image I had in mind, and I’m quite pleased with it.
I had to do a lot of trial and error when I placed myself next to the horse. I haven’t been around that many horses in my life so I wasn’t sure how big it was supposed to look standing next to me. (I Googled some pictures of people with horses for reference.) After editing everything, I think the horse should be a little bit bigger … but that would mean that I’d have to redo all the shadows and blending. In the end, I decided that it’s a minor imperfection that I can live with. Besides, I’m secretly happy because the smaller horse makes me appear taller than I actually am XD I actually really like how this turned out.
Stock credits :
Woods – http://starscoldnight.deviantart.com/art/Woods-premade-BG-II-289912744
Horse – http://kelbellestock.deviantart.com/art/White-Horse-93443926
Photoshop brushes (hair and mist) – http://www.obsidiandawn.com
(Quote in the title is by Lisa Hammond)
Flowers. I choose flowers
This year I’m making a conscious effort to be happy. I know I said this a lot last year (and probably the year before that) but it really is a challenge for me. I need to learn to stop placing my happiness in other people’s hands and start taking responsibility for it. I need to realize that the only person that can truly decide if I’m happy or not is myself, so I should be the one in charge of my happiness. It seems like such a simple thing, but its not as easy as it sounds, at least not for me. In my 2013 wrap up entry I mentioned that I decided to start a daily journal of things I’m grateful for, and so far it’s been going well. It really helps by allowing me to see how blessed I am and it makes me appreciate life more.
Here’s to hoping that I fill my garden with lots of beautiful flowers this year
Flower vector brushes from www.obsidiandawn.com
Quote in the title is by Mel Weldon
This photo was shot at the Bell Church in Baguio. It’s a Taoist church that has a some lovely architecture. Ezra helped me take this shot at the entrance, but I’m not really sure what those Chinese characters mean. My guess is that they’re prayers (it is a place of worship after all), but my mom thinks that it could be names of some people who have donated to the church. Do you guys know? I really hope I’m not doing anything offensive by by including it in my self portrait project. But tourists take photos here all the time so it should be fine.
Classes and offices have resumed last week T__T Unfortunately my brain seems to have lost the memo. I’ve been so lazy and unproductive this whole time. I was hoping that going on a short weekend trip will help get me out of this funk, but all it did was make me lazier than ever. Gaaah~ This week I’m determined to get my act together and start working through the pile of lab reports that I need to check. Wish me luck!
(Quote in the title by George Bernard Shaw)
This photo was inspired by an anime she’s currently watching. It’s called Magi : The Labyrinth of Magic. I don’t watch it so I don’t know much about it, but she told me that those little butterflies are called “rukh”. They don’t look exactly like this in the anime because I used redheadstock’s butterfly brushes for this, but they look pretty similar to the reference photos Ezra sent me. Anyway, these rukh things are supposed to be some kind of life essence or life energy in the show.
I’m pretty happy with how this turned out, considering I edited it in about 20 minutes. We only have a few minutes left before the end of 2013 and I want to get this up on time
I’m very sad to announce that this will be Ezra’s last 52-week project She’s decided that she won’t be doing it for 2014. It feels kind of weird having to do it without her since we’ve been shooting self portraits together since 2010. But she told me she’d still be asking me to take her photos and she’d still let me use her as a model for my photomanipulations every now and then, so that’s good.
This will be my last post for 2013. Happy new year everyone!
Another 52-week project finished. I can’t believe that this is my 5th one! Wow. I started doing this back in 2009 out of sheer boredom, and I never imagined that I’d still be doing it 5 years later.
I think in all my years of doing the 52-week project, this was the first time that I seriously thought we wouldn’t be able to finish all 52-photos by the end of the year. I think there came a time when I was about 7 weeks behind, and Ezra was 14 weeks behind. I have no idea how we managed to catch up after that, but I’m really glad we did. I’m thankful that the holidays started early this year so it gave me plenty of time to shoot and edit.
I’m not entirely sure why this year was so bad in terms of us being able to submit our photos on time. I this was just really busy year for Ezra and me. We both have jobs so it’s harder to find a time for us to shoot, unlike when we were students. In the past years, I used to be really anal about only posting photos that were taken that week. I considered it cheating when we post pictures that were taken at a different week. But this year, due to our schedule, Ezra and I would usually shoot 3 to 5 photos in one session and post them at different times. You would think this would make it easier for us but editing takes a lot of time too, so even with this strategy we ended up falling behind. But I think the two main things that really set us back this year was our month-long visit to California this summer, and my grandmother’s passing last August. I usually find time to edit photos and post them even when we’re on vacation, but our visit to California this year was so packed with activities that I barely had time to sleep, let alone edit anything. And of course when my grandma passed away, Ezra and I weren’t in the mood to shoot self portraits so we ended up taking a month hiatus.
Anyway, even with all the stress of having to catch up this year and make it to 52 photos before the end of the year, I think I’m still going to do this project for 2014. I’ve been doing it for so long now, it’s going to feel weird if I stop. Let’s just hope I do better with deadlines this time. Wish me luck guys!
The room came from hellonlegs on deviantArt (http://hellonlegs.deviantart.com/art/Empty-Room-211774585)
The books were from gothicbohemianstock (http://gothicbohemianstock.deviantart.com/gallery/3876782), jojo22 (http://jojo22.deviantart.com/art/Stack-of-Old-Books-Stock-416860960) and barefootliam-stock (http://barefootliam-stock.deviantart.com/art/old-books-dictionary-10-7163808).
I read a quote that goes something like this about a month ago. I forgot to bookmark the page and now I can’t find it again. I’m not sure what the exact wording was, but it was something similar. I’ve been trying to find it on Google and similar results pop up, but not the quote I want. The closest I’ve found so far goes
“If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.”
But that wasn’t it, because I remember immediately thinking of doing a self portrait with chess pieces when I read the quote I’m talking about, so I’m thinking it probably had the word “game” or “rule” in it. Note to self : next time you find a quote you like, bookmark it or write it down!
Anyway, even though I can’t remember the exact quote, the message stuck with me. All my life I’ve been a goody two shoes – I make an effort to know the rules so I can play by them. I think that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but the thing I need to remember is that not every one will live their life the same way. Just because I stand patiently in line doesn’t mean that I’ll get to the front faster than some jerk who managed to talk themselves into cutting in front of someone else. Just because I pay my bills, follow the proper steps and don’t cheat in life, doesn’t mean that life will reward me for it. As children we are often taught that if we follow the rules we get a prize, and if we don’t then someone will come and punish us – but this is not always the case in real life. People break the rules all the time and many of them get away with it. In fact, sometimes the rule breaking comes from the people who should be enforcing the rules themselves. After all, what’s to stop them from taking a few shortcuts to get what the want? The answer should be integrity, but I’m learning that this doesn’t mean as much to some people.
Those are some pretty heavy thoughts to be having the day before Christmas eve, so I’ll end my ramblings here.
Wow, Ezra caught up to me. She’s usually about 4 self portraits behind. I guess she felt the pressure too. We have no choice but to speed things up, after all there are only a few more days left in 2013. Now if we could only catch up to the weeks in the year
This shot was inspired by a stage in Deemo. It’s a game that we’re currently playing and it’s made by the same creators who brought us Cytus. We love rhythm based games and we’re glad to have stumbled upon these two. Both games have great songs in them but I prefer Cytus because the songs are more upbeat (but Ezra loves Deemo). We’ve even downloaded a couple of the songs from the games so we can listen to them whenever we want. Another thing we love about Cytus and Deemo is the artwork. Supposedly they’re all hand drawn, which makes them even more amazing. You guys should definitely check them out
The moon brushes I used came from anodyne-stock on deviantArt.
You guessed it. Another Frozen-inspired post. We just can’t get over that movie. We listen to the soundtrack every day and watch the clip of Elsa building her ice castle on youTube all the time. I can’t wait till it’s released on bluray. I’ll probably watch the entire movie everyday for a week!
Anyway, this shot is a little similar to my old self portrait back in 2011. Except that one gives off a more depressing feeling while this one’s supposed to be happier. And in the old shot I used Photoshop brushes to make the clouds while in this one I used the pillow stuffing that Nochi and Jei gave me back in June
We’ll be spending Christmas here in the Philippines, so obviously we’re not going to be seeing snow this year. But that’s alright, we saw plenty of snow back in May I just wish the weather would get a bit cooler here because lately it’s been really hot. I know that we live in the tropics, but Christmas just doesn’t seem complete without that chilly feeling. We still have a few more days before the 25th, so let’s keep our fingers crossed!
Another Frozen inspired self portrait for this week In my last SP, I mentioned that I am currently addicted to that movie and actually saw it twice already. I had to find another cinema to watch it for the second time because they stopped showing it at the one near where I live. Thankfully, Ezra and I saw that it was still showing at Festival Mall in Alabang. Since Raffy is staying with us this week and he hasn’t seen it, we decided that this was a good excuse to drive over there and see the movie again. Brinks hasn’t seen it either so she met up with us there after work. Camille saw it twice aready, but she wanted to see it again so she decided to come with us. They only had it in 2D at the cinema there, which was a shame because the 3D version is AWESOME, but I’ll take what I can get
My dad warned me that traffic would be bad because it’s the holiday season AND it’s the weekend, but we decided to risk it anyway. We made it to Alabang just fine (ran into some traffic at Calamba as usual), but it was the drive home that was the problem. Normally the travel time is only 1 to 1 1/2 hours, but it took us FOUR LOOOOONG HOURS to make it home. We made it to Calamba with no problems, but things went downhill from there. We got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic even before we exited the expressway. It was almost 2am by the time we got home. I’m just thankful that I had good company with me and we managed to keep ourselves entertained.
In my last self portrait I tried to style my hair like Anna’s, so this week I did my best to recreate Elsa’s side braid. The snowflake brush is by redheadstock on deviantArt, and I got my title from one of the songs in the movie. My favorite song is still “Do You want To Build A Snowman”, but this comes as a close second It was sung by the amazing Idina Menzel. If you’re interested, you can watch the clip of Elsa singing the song during the movie in the youTube video below: